What the...?

Okay, I'm not that into soccer, and I wouldn't spend money to sit out in the heat watching it. At least not at the Olympics or World Cup. But at the Paralympics, which is apparently all about helping people God hates feel good about themselves in a very after-school movie sort of way, that's another story completely. In the midst of such weird adaptations as wheelchair fencing and amputee cycling, there's blind soccer.

That's "visually impaired" soccer, for the politically correct of you. But to make sure that everybody's just as visually impaired as the next guy, all the players except the goalies were blindfolds. (The rules state that the goalie can either be sighted or visually impaired, because you'd obviously want a guy who can't see the ball covering the goal.)

How the hell does this game work? It's one of those things that I'd love to see. It'd be fun, in a mean, exploitative sort of way. But I imagine there's a lot of players crashing into each other, tripping over the ball, scoring in their own team's goal, randomly running off the field and into the stands. It would be a blast.

You know what would be even better though? Blind NASCAR.