Classes At The Learning Annex: A Sample

I found a fall catalog for the Learning Annex in NYC, which is the best kill-a-few-minutes reading there is at Barnes and Noble, aside from Yoga Journal magazine, which, truth be told, isn't nearly as humorous as it used to be. Here's just a short sample of why the Learning Annex catalog is the best reading in the city.... Mind you, I'd never be caught dead at one of these classes, right?

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How to Make Big $$$ Buying and Selling Ugly Houses. Nice job with the subtlety, there. Now the ugly house is gonna have low self-esteem, too, and then it just won't be worth anything.

Talking to Heaven — How to Receive Messages from the Beyond with James Van Praagh. Yes, that's right James Van Praagh. That other guy on TV who talks to your dead relatives.

Earn Over $250 an Hour If You Look Like a Real Person. I don't even know what this means.

How to Have Your Own UFO Encounters. "Have you witnessed what you believe are UFOs? Do you have a mysterious sense that you've been contacted by visitors from the beyond? Or - if you haven't yet been contacted - would you like to be? Then don't miss this fascinating workshop with extraterrestrial contactee Jeremy Vaeni."

Stop Being Nice — Living Authentically and Loving It! Because there's just too many nice people in New York City.

Selling to the Federal Government. "How to sell anything to the government! Toothbrushes, cheese graters, uniforms, pasta, buttons, banners, equipment…anything!" The government wants my toothbrush??? Can it be used?

And my favorite, creepiest class:
How to Pick-up Girls — Seduce Any Woman, Anywhere, Anytime! "Famed Erotic expert Palagia [I mean, her picture on the website is blurred out, to give you some idea about this woman] has researched and created a 'super seduction' system that can take you from a frustrating life of unreturned phone calls to actually living your wildest fantasies." A frustrating life of unreturned phone calls to actually living your wildest fantasies? It's called Japan. Look into it sometime.