A Completely Impartial Review of Starbucks' Seasonal Eggnog Latte

I felt compelled to try Starbucks' new Eggnog Latte drink, even though I like neither eggnog nor latte. While I applaud Starbucks' beverage experimentation, throwing random desserts (gingerbread, pumpkin spice, Kit Kats, etc.) into coffee, I have to say that eggnog plus latte tastes like tinsel that's still on a Christmas tree in February. Also, it didn't keep me awake, and it turned out that drinking a latte didn't make me any more of an intellectual.

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Eggnog: Who thought that one up? "Hmmm, I wanna get a little drunk, but I also want pancakes." —Dave Attell