No Purchase Necessary

The following arrived in my e-mail from the Columbia College Alumni whatever:

From: Emily Morris

Reply-To: Emily Morris

To: ******@columbia.edu

Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2005 14:59:51 -0500

Subject: Classes of 2003 & 2004 - *PARTY*

Columbia Classes of 2003 & 2004
invite you to
PARTY
like it's 2005!!

When: FRIDAY, January 14, 2005
10pm til you drop
Where: mAnnAhAttA (316 Bowery)
Cover: NONE if you're on the guest list or say you're there for the Columbia Party
RSVP by Wednesday, January 12 and get on the guest list (no waiting in line, no cover)

WIN raffle prizes including airline tickets, fine wine, sports tickets, dinner for you and friends with Jerry Sherwin, and much more... but ... you're only eligible if you've made a gift to the College Fund in the current fiscal year (July 1, 2004 - present).

Oh, I get it.... they're trying to get me to donate to the College Fund. Those tricky little alumni association bastards. Apparently the $140K+ I've given to Columbia this far, not to mention the student loan I'm paying off, isn't enough for these folks. Well, thank God I don't really fly anywhere, and I don't like wine, or sports, and I don't even know who the hell Jerry Sherwin is or why the hell I'd want to have dinner with him.

Maybe because he's paying?

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Some further research reveals that Jerry Sherwin is the ex-president of the Alumni Association and a member of the class of 1955. So, yeah, I was just thinking that my friends and I don't eat dinner with enough octogenerians.