Saturday, July 2, 2005

Another Sign of the Apocalypse

I'm in agreement with Rosie O'Donnell.

It looks like Rosie and Oprah are involved in some sort of passive-aggressive celebrity catfight, and I guess the only thing worse than standing behind Rosie is taking sides with Oprah. Personally, I can't wait until a psychotic Tom Cruise, off his dopamine and convinced that he's a howler monkey, mauls Oprah and eats her face. In case you don't have a TV shoving Us Weekly in your face every second of the day, a swanky Paris boutique confused Oprah with a non-celebrity and refused to let her into the store. Oprah, with a full sense of entitlement you'd think growing up in the slums would knock out of you, thought she'd bitch to her masses of loyal zombie fans about "the most humiliating moment of [her] life."

Now Rosie.... poor, misguided, let me tell a joke sent in by a six-year-old Rosie, responded on her blog. Only thing is that Rosie's blog is written in something that's supposed to be poetry, so her condemnation of celebrity pretentiousness gets lost in lines like: "gayle said it was really really bad / she used really twice / she saw it - she was there" and "shout out to brooke / stand tall girl / u saved a lot of women / by telling ur truth".

And you wonder why the gay rights movement isn't going anywhere. Rosie, if you want to be taken seriously, you need to put away the Magnetic Poetry set and learn how to form a proper sentence.