I thought now that I graduated, I'd be done with Columbia's fucking bullshit, but I'm not. Columbia had this job posting on Craigslist for a computer person to help digitize their electronic publications, and despite my total disdain for my alma mater, I'd be great for the position. Here's the job requirements:

Minimum Qualifications for Grade Applicant MUST meet these minimum qualifications to be considered an applicant	Bachelor's Degree or equivalent required. Two years' of related experience required.
Additional Position-Specific Minimum Qualifications Applicant MUST meet these minimum qualifications to be considered an applicant	Required technical experience: "C" or "Java" language programming (or suitable equivalent) and UNIX software development. Experience with UNIX systems administration in an Internet connected site. Good oral and written communication skills required. Ability to perform all phases of systems programming and administration. Ability to work independently required.
Preferred Qualifications	Bachelor's degree in Computer Science. Experience with web server administration, XML tools, Unix shell scripting, CGI and/or servlet programming, XSLT, Perl, and data base programming and/or administration.

Which is all pretty standard stuff. The two years of related experience thing kind of put me off, but I figured that, hey, I spent four years in Columbia's computer science department gaining experience that's somehow related to whatever the hell this job is. Besides, Columbia trained me. It's unfathomable that Columbia'd train its students in such a way that they'd remain unqualified for Columbia's own entry level positions. Right?

So I checked the status of my application this morning, and what do you think it says there? Does not meet minimum qualifications.

But I bet they still want my money. Next time the alumni association comes calling, I should tell them that since my education left me so ill-prepared for the job market, I don't have any. They can, however, have all the contempt they can handle.