I own a hideous coat. It's maybe six or seven years old, from back in the days when my mom picked out my clothes, as opposed to now, when I pick out my clothes and Mom lodges ridiculous complaints about them. I'd include a picture of the offending jacket, but like I said, it's hideous. (Like that's stopped me before....) I don't really know where I should go to buy a new coat, but I do know that Burlington Coat Factory has "coat" right in the name, so it seemed like a good start.

I don't like buying clothes because I have a history of looking foolish while shopping. (The fact that, until recently, Mom insisted on clothes shopping with me because I "refused" to try anything on probably had a lot to do with that.) Usually what'll happen is I'll purchase something that makes me look like a member of the Addams family or I'll get myself caught in a zipper or something, but I totally wouldn't be surprised if I managed to unwittingly walk out of the store with a purchase from the plus-size misses department.

Maybe I was in an outlet store without knowing it, but Burlington Coat Factory has the crappiest clothes I have ever seen. Like Kohl's clearance-bin crappy. Seriously, there are clothes stores in Harlem and Chinatown that don't have names but have nicer merchandise. I'm not the most stylin' dude in da hood (what, you don't believe me?), but I don't think Burlington Coat Factory is the place for me. Also, pretty much all their coats are XXXL or larger, so I'm not quite sure who does buy stuff there. Like, is their entire customer base Shaq?