This is just a random, irrelevant thought, but you remember the wedding scene in The Little Mermaid and how the priest gets a boner in the middle of it? I do, not only cause, like all kids growing up in the late eighties, I've seen that movie a million times but also because we spent a whole day in tenth-grade health class studying it. Suffice it to say that my sex ed teacher was a fanatical follower of subliminal-advertising alarmist Wilson Bryan Key and also seriously... uh... deprived, and she couldn't help but read innuendo into every freaking thing. Like, we also spent a class trying to get Aladdin to tell us to take off our clothes. I mean, we were fifteen-year-old boys at the time, and we were pretty impressed with Ms. Kling's ability to make a "that's what she said" joke right on the spot.

But back to The Little Mermaid, it was just like two seconds ago that I realized the irony of Christian wackos complaining about a little erection in the movie. After all, Ariel is hot, for an animated chick. (She's also like eighty-percent naked throughout most of the movie.) If he weren't at least a little in the game, then we'd have the Family Research Council bitching about how the priest is gay.