In another life, I think I could've cared about Scarlett Johannsen hosting SNL this week... but then the star of Ghost World and Lost in Translation and Girl With a Pearl Earring just had to make The Perfect Score and that Michael Bay abomination with more product placement than the Macy's parade. And she has the gall to think she can redeem herself from The Island by winning a Golden Globe nod for Match Point.

Bullshit! You don't redeem yourself from Michael Bay, no matter how many indie films you make. Congratulations, Scarlett, you've joined the ranks of Affleck, Billy Bob Thornton, and Kate Beckinsale and you are now dead to me. (Also, you're dead to me for appearing on Page Six, cause that's just plain retarded.) This is why you never see Philip Seymour Hoffman in a summer flick with two or more explosions.