Thursday, September 21, 2006

I love the website Kids-In-Mind, which is one of those parents' resources that'll tell you whether a movie contains any content you might not want adulterating your kids' innocent minds. Kudos to them for doing what the MPAA sucks monkeyballs at, and also for describing every on-screen act of sex and violence in excruciating clinical detail. It's cheaper and faster to get a fix of what the cinema's best at than actually sitting through the entire boring movie, but what's really great about Kids-In-Mind is that they tell parents what "message" the movie tries to convey. The site's editors almost always miss the point, but occassionally they're dead on. Like, here's what they took away from the upcoming B-movie Feast: "When strangers come together to defend themselves against man-eating creatures, some may survive but most will be eaten just the same." Man, that is profound. They should put that inside a fortune cookie.

A few other gems:

From Snakes on a Plane — "Snakes can really mess up a perfectly pleasant airplane trip."

From Stay Alive — "Untested computer games can have deadly bugs."

From The World is Not Enough — "James Bond always gets the bad guys and the beautiful women."

From Beerfest — "Good beer is worth fighting for."

From Dr. Giggles — "Any premise can be turned into a horror film."