Wednesday, November 15, 2006

It's about time we had some homophobic religious zealots who didn't give Jesus a bad name, even if we did have to go to the other side of the planet to draw them out. The gay community in Jerusalem had to scale back their annual pride parade under pressure and protests from what the L.A. Times calls "ultra-Orthodox" Jews, which I bet is also what God calls them. Really — I could have never predicted this, seeing as how the Middle East is always so full of reason and tolerance.

It's not a party in the Mideast unless someone's setting cars on fire and throwing rocks at the police, so guess what our ultra-Orthodox protesters were up to. You know, I've never really cared much about the Israeli-Arab conflict either way, but I have to say that both people who live in glass houses and people who live a few miles away from a heavily fortified West Bank border wall really shouldn't throw stones. Was Israel just a little too peaceful today? Anyhoodle, the whole gay-bashing rock-throwing protest had to break up a little early when the Palestinians decided they'd be lobbing rocks over the border, in revenge for the Israelis killing eighteen.... and holy shit, if anyone ever needed to decide a conflict once and for all through Mortal Kombat, it's these idiots. The Palestinians can be that green guy with six arms and the Israelis get to be the fire-breathing robot, and both groups get their choice of Asian kid to sit in front of the Playstation.

The thing that really impresses me about these Jewish homophobes is how dedicated they are to their cause of irrational bigotry. Catholic fundamentalists only hate openly gay people because it's easier to repress those naughty thoughts when everyone else around you is closeted too, but with these Orthodox Jews: you've got a rabbi in New York rallying against a pride parade fifty-seven hundred miles away. That's impressive. I wouldn't be surprised if he, like the rest of us, stepped over the homeless guy at the end of the block, but major props to this guy for persecuting loving relationships half a world away. I smell rapture coming for somebody soon!