Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Here's why your taxes are so high:

It's an escalator in the Herald Square subway station, and in case you were wondering, it's an up escalator. You know how I can tell? There's a little up arrow next to the escalator... and also, I was standing there when I took the picture, so I could see the damn escalator going up. But that arrow's helpful, too... if one day, Earth happens to morph into an M. C. Escher world.

It's not that I have a problem with the arrow itself, because I can imagine some dingus hopping on the escalator and then being like, "Why do I appear to be moving in a skyward direction? Oh, I see, the arrow's pointing up." I get especially confused when I use one of the planet's millions of escalators that doesn't have an up or down arrow right next to it. "Where does it go? Up? Down? Sideways? Mommy, hold me!" It's that the subway people bought this high-tech electronic scrolling light sign, as if just spraypainting a damn arrow next to the escalator wouldn't be informative enough. We need to see the arrow physically move up, just in case someone, somewhere is confused about the whole concept of "up."

I'm dying to know where one purchases a scrolling up-arrow sign on a fancy metal post, and how much they go for. It has to be at least a hundred bucks, right? Probably more if you want one that can be switched from up to down, in case you ever change the direction of the escalators. Which I really hope they do, just to confuse the people relying on the sign.