I absolutely need to share this ad I found on Craigslist:

Arabic Linguists Wanted For US Army

---

Date: 2007-09-21, 10:05AM EDT


BASIC REQUIREMENTS:

Permanent Resident or US citizen
17-41 years old
Good physical condition
Good moral character
The ability to read, write, and speak Arabic

This is what's called marketing, kids. You call them "basic" requirements and you get to leave off the less ad-friendly "advanced" requirements: Must enjoy ceaseless days and nights in a hundred degree political quagmire that gets car-bombed on a regular basis. No gays allowed. High school dropouts, drug users, and criminals are okay.