Friday, July 25, 2008

I posted this on my journal yesterday:

I've been wallflower-ing on for about a month now with limited success meeting folks, and I think I figured out what I'm doing wrong: I've been wallflower-ing on Rejection stings — pretty sure that's not a particularly controversial opinion — but my OKStalking business is picking up the distinct odor of sixth-grade Spring Fling, and I like to think I'm fifteen years older and at least ten wiser than that.

Still, it's so easy for me, or Nike, to say "Just do it!" — Lord knows I've given that pep talk to my friends plenty of times — and so scary to take that leap into the deep end, especially if you're not sure whether you'll sink. That isn't a metaphor; my swimming ability ends at curling up in a ball underwater and floating wherever the tide carries me.

I just wanted to put that out into the ether, even though others have said it before, and better, and probably while sober. Not the world's best introduction, but it is honest... and, in a weird way, freeing.

So, here goes. No more looky-looing, no more woo button. No expectations, either. Well, maybe one — I'll try my best but how you all do or don't respond is beyond my control. Just something I have to surrender and see what happens.

By the way, I'm Jay. [Smiles. Shakes hands.] Nice to meet you, [fill in your name here].

It's right now thirty hours since I posted that and I'm sad to report that I haven't followed through. My plan is to not move from this seat until I introduce myself to somebody, even if — probably — it's not someone I'm especially smitten over. The only problem is this giant mutant insect flying around here — it's like a hornet mated with a wolverine — which might motivate me to lower my goals a bit before moving.