As insipid as class elections are, let's all agree to the following: even though it's not like there are any real issues in the election, you still can't run on a platform entirely devoted to bringing the Intrepid party back to Columbia. Now, before we go any further, I'm going to state for the record that I'm entirely against the administration's cancelling the Intrepid party. Even though I've never actually gone, I understand that one night a year, Columbia undergrads, less than two weeks from getting their Ivy League degrees, get drunk early in the evening, head out to the Intrepid and drink some more, and then, around three in the morning, stagger across the West Side Highway and get hit by an eighteen-wheeler. I say good for them, but for some reason, the Columbia bigwigs had a problem with this and cancelled the event.

And so, into the election season comes the "Party Hum" party, promising to bring back the Intrepid party.

Here's an idea. Maybe if, heaven forbid, people could behave themselves, the administration wouldn't have to cancel the party.

Lousy kids.