You know what would be awesome? A Kerry-Edwards vs. Bush-Cheney tag-team cage match. They could call it the "Altercation for the Fate of the Nation," or I suppose they could have Don King get out his rhyming dictionary and come up with a name that's actually half decent. Now, I see several advantages to holding this once-in-a-lifetime event:

1. It would be a lot more fun to watch than the conventions, and it would get wrestling fans excited about the electoral process.
2. Good odds on John Edwards kicking Dick Cheney's ass. Better odds on Cheney having a heart attack before the fight even starts, which means Kerry and Edwards can gang up on Bush, two against one.
3. Condy Rice can be the ring girl. Or we can scrap Dr. Rice and have Bush's two hot daughters as the ring girls instead.
4. Colin Powell could wear the striped "Foot Locker" polo shirt and referee. He could also provide the pre-show entertainment.
5. We broadcast the fight on Pay-Per-View and use the profits to pay off the national debt. I mean, even I'd pay $24.95 to watch Kerry beat Bush over the head with a folding chair.