A Completely Impartial Review of the Men's Room at Ralph Lauren on 72nd and Madison

First off, I do not belong in Ralph Lauren. The clothes are too expensive and too trendy and I have trouble telling the men's clothes from the women's clothes. But I downloaded this program to my cell phone that tells you where the nearest restaurants or movie theaters or banks or bathrooms are to you, and I was playing around with it. This program, Vindigo, is coincidentally made by the company that I interviewed at today. Now, Vindigo doesn't just tell you where the bathrooms are; it also reviews them, and Ralph Lauren's potty sure got a stunning review.

Five stars. "Clean, safe, free, recommended." Recommended! And only ten blocks away. Now I had to check it out.

And it is one sweet sweet bathroom. Stylish clear sinks, framed photos on the wall, the stall doors go from the ceiling to the floor — even in the urinal stall. It was the first time I ever felt comfortable whipping my penis out of my pants in a public restroom. Good for me!

There's also a vinyl blue bench in the bathroom, I guess so I can sit comfortably and wait for my male friends to finish putting on their make-up.

And I believed this city didn't love me.


Take the elevator to the lower level; the bathroom's on your left.