It occurs to me that in my twelve years under the tutelage of the Scotch Plains-Fanwood School District, no one once complained about my use of the split infinitive. I feel that my English teachers ought to (boldly!) be commended^* for their reasonableness and not getting all up in my grill over a "pointless affectation of usage." I only wish the high school administration were so enlightened when it comes to wearing hats on the premises.

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^*Actually, I don't. I honestly believe that people, English teachers included, should behave reasonably just as the sun should rise every morning. But it turns out that people are a lot more likely to do the right thing if you heap praise on them for doing so. So kudos to the English teachers.