A Completely Impartial Review of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"

God, I hate this movie. Everybody else seems to like it — it's on TBS and USA and Comedy Central all the time, even though there's absolutely no comedy in it. (Although Comedy Central also has interminable showings of "Mad TV," which is also devoid of humor.) People seem to think that the title character is sooooooo clever, but he's really not. He's just a selfish asshole who manipulates everyone. Now, Matthew Broderick started to redeem himself with "Election," but he's got a long way to go, especially after the 1998 Godzilla remake. I'm still waiting to be reimbursed for those two hours I spent in the movie theater.