When you all sneak into a second movie after only paying for the first, are you nagged by the worry you'll be caught by the six-bucks-an-hour theater personnel? Me too. (I hope you answered "yes" to that.) But the movies have gotten so expensive nowadays, even here in the suburbs outside New York City, that I'm willing to take the risk. I thought I'd get in cheap for the matinee shows — and they even raised to prices of those by fifty cents — and I felt kind of guilty because eleven dollars seems like a fair price to pay for two (good) movies. I got to the Rialto in Westfield, and it turns out the matinee shows are only discounted on weekdays. So, on the plus side, I didn't feel bad about sneaking into a second movie. On the minus side, I had to pay a whole $8.50 to get in.

I'll be honest here and say, yes, it is morally wrong to sneak into a movie without paying for it. But — maybe I'm being selfish here, but maybe I'm not — I don't think it's any worse than the theater overcharging for their movies, soda, popcorn, and candy. Or any worse than the movie studios spending more than the GNP of some small countries on crappy action movies. Or any worse than Julia Roberts getting paid twenty million dollars to pretend to fall in love with Richard Gere. Why am I the only one who's forbidden from behaving immorally?

Anyway, I saw Sideways and The Incredibles. Both were good and funny, although it wasn't a struggle to stay awake during the latter.

So you know what's weird? Whenever you go to the Rialto, you're practically guaranteed to be sitting in front of a couple who insists on yakking through the entire movie. Sideways was full of senior citizens, which is pretty much defined as someone whose inside voice is louder than a normal person's outside voice. On the other hand, The Incredibles had a single family with two little kids. What do senior citizens and little kids have in common? Well, neither can control their bladders, and they both need to have their mouths duct taped shut. Otherwise, they'll randomly blurt out what's happening on the screen, like, "He's getting in the car!"

Also, old people are slow.