Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Unprofessional Behavior

I nearly missed the train this morning because the parking lot at the train station was full, as was the overflow parking lot across the street from the train station, and I had to park in the Carriage House lot, which was nearly full. The train pulled in while I was still on the wrong side of the tracks, and I ran across the parking lot, up the bridge, and then ran out of energy like a little wuss. I managed to stumble to the train just before it pulled out, and as I got onto the train, the assistant conductor said to me in this snide, condescending way, "Hope you've got a ticket."

I ignore him, like my wussy parents told me to do when someone's being a jerk.

So he repeats it: "Hope you've got a ticket." Like this guy thinks he's better than me cause he's got a uniform or something. I don't need this crap. Naturally, I start thinking of a way to get my revenge.

Now, New Jersey Transit has customer satisfaction forms both in paper and online, and I've filled out more than my fair share of them. I've complained about the paucity of trains, the lack of a direct line from Fanwood to New York, and NJ Transit's chronic inability to get a train into the station on time, all to no avail. I don't think they give a shit that this guy's giving me lip — he's an assistant conductor and I'm a kid — I just can't imagine this ticket-taker telling off some fifty-year-old guy in a power suit. Either way, I'm gonna fill out an official complaint. But just maybe... I'll lie.

How about this — I fill out the form and throw in a little storytelling and embellishment. The guy says, "Hope you've got your ticket," and then he said if I didn't have my ticket, he offered to waive the five-dollar on-board purchase surcharge if I sucked his cock in the train bathroom.

Why the hell not? So what it's untrue — I demand to be heard and no one cares unless there's the threat of a lawsuit. I demand to see this guy punished for his insolence; I want him to know that he can't treat me like that.

What did I eventually do? I filled out the complaint form, I named names, I told the truth. I sicken myself.


Anonymous said...

Trying to fake-it through a work day for a government employee is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to do when reading your're a funny kid! Keep entertaining me at work and I'll work extra hard to piss away your tax dollars! THANK YOU!