Who's The Greatest American Ever?I'm pretty sure it's not me...

Have you seen these "Greatest American" commericals on the Discovery channel? They want you to go online and vote for who you think is the greatest American ever. To help you out, the Madison Avenue geniuses who came up with this ad assembled a panel of average-looking Americans. By which I mean, of course, that these panelists' skin colors are as diverse as their attitudes are conformist and non-confrontational. (No one seems to believe that John Brown's raid on Harper's Ferry or Larry Flynt's defense of free speech rights merits consideration for a greatest American award.) Since Americans don't know shit about history, these panelists make suggestions: one mentions Rosa Parks, another mentions George Washington. Both good choices.

And then there's this fat middle-aged white guy proudly announcing his choice — Katie Couric.

What?!

Not that Katie Couric hasn't made great contributions to America in the form of mind-rotting early-morning celebrity interviews and changing her hairstyle every year or so, but you couldn't think of one person who'd made greater contributions to the country? Let me help you out, Whitey: how about Abraham Lincoln or Martin Luther King, Jr or Ben Franklin. I mean, is Matt Lauer not a great enough American to be nominated for this incredibly insipid award?