Think Of The Children!

There was some confusion tonight at the 8:45 Chicken Little screening at the AMC Empire 25. I guess a reel or two got mixed up, and instead of Disney, the kids were treated to some foreign film that opens with a young man hanging himself. I know what you're thinking: foreign film? You mean the kids are gonna have to read?

Of course, the real show wasn't on the screen. Here's the story as reported in the New York Daily News.

A Times Square movie theater laid an egg at a showing of "Chicken Little" last night.

Adults and kids expecting to watch Disney's G-rated animated flick at the AMC Empire 25 theater on 42nd St. were instead presented with a foreign film that opened with a young man committing suicide.

"It's pandemonium," Joshua Gallo, 30, told the Daily News as he rushed out of the theater with his 5-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter. "The kids are crying. The mothers are screaming for the managers to stop the film." [Okay, here's me again. What's the Daily News reporter doing hanging right outside the doors, waiting for some crazy parent to make an insipid comment "as he rushed out of the theater?" I smell a leak at the highest levels of AMC management.]

Terrified children didn't know what to do as they watched a young boy hang himself from a tree at the 8:45 p.m. screening. [Bullshit. Kids can't tell Oliver & Company from hardcore porn. The adults were freaking out, but the kids knew what to do: sit down and shut up. Not that they were doing it, though.]

After five minutes, "Andrea," a Spanish drama opening today, was turned off and "Chicken Little" was played.

Patrons got a coupon for a free movie.

My absolute favorite part of the whole incident is how the North Korean Times managed to pick up on the story, right next to "R. Kelly sues Jay-Z over pepper spraying," cause that's totally relevant when your family's being kidnapped by the Pyongyang secret police. And there's a North Korea Times news forum page, as if the North Korean press actually wants to hear your opinion on the Chicken Little incident.