Friday, February 24, 2006

The Wedding of the Century

The BBC posted the following article on its website today, and the headline, not too surprisingly, grabbed my attention:

Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.

"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up".

Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.

"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.
I have a bunch of questions for this Alifi guy, because where I come from — and I'm trying to be sensitive towards the genocidal, clitoris-hacking, zoophiliac Sudanese culture — if you're caught fucking an animal, someone generally keeps you away from that animal in the future. I guess they do things a bit differently over there. The first thing I've gotta know is, let's say that goat-fucker Tombe meets a woman and they fall in love. (She's presumably cool with the whole bestiality thing.) Does he need to divorce the goat before they get married? If they do get divorced, does the goat get half his stuff? I can't really imagine there being some sort of caprine prenup, with maybe a pig for a lawyer. Maybe he can get out of the marriage by letting the goat screw around with someone else.