People Always Tell Me I Look 63% Like David Carradine

Have you seen MyHeritage.com yet? It's supposed to be a genealogy site, but it's got this great new timewaster: upload a photo of yourself and it'll tell you what celebrities you sort of resemble a tiny bit. So, I don't photograph very well, but here's the picture of me and my asinine smile that I uploaded, and here's a decrepit David Carradine, forty-six years my senior, to compare it to.

This doesn't make me feel at all good about my appearance. They could've at least found a picture of him from his Kwai Chang Caine days, when Carradine didn't look half dead.

Maybe I'll have better luck with another picture. Here's one with me and my parents — one of the few photos of my dad in existence — at graduation.


Mom will be happy to know that she looks 63% like Uma Thurman and 48% like Jessica Alba, and less happy to know that she looks 47% like Tommy Lasorda.

I don't even want to post the picture that has me resembling Gwyneth Paltrow (66%), Mira Sorvino (65%), Chloë Sevigny (ewww...), Mark Owen (60%), and Braveheart (59%).