My uncle, I swear to God, is freaking worse than my mom when it comes to being insanely overprotective. It's great that he wants to take me around to sightsee in Milan (even though he did spend ten minutes pointing out the handicapped ramp they're adding to his building) but I'm on a very, very tight leash of the sort usually reserved for preschoolers and dogs that aren't housebroken. I planned on spending this morning exploring the San'Ambrogio and San Lorenzo Maggiore, two churches that are on each of my three maps of Milan. My uncle had a doctor appointment and planned on me spending this morning in bed, where I'd be safe from i ladri, gli zingari, and le poverette that prey on helpless tourists like me. Thank goodness a cantakerous octogenrian is there to help me!

So the rest of my family kind of sees me as the grown-up I'd like people to think I am, and the result was one of those arguments where you don't understand the words but you understand exactly what's going on. My family, la mia zia won out — she is getting even cooler by the second — but my uncle got the last laugh, as I forgot to turn on my alarm clock last night and totally overslept. Eh... oh well. More time to spend with my aunt.

I just hope he doesn't plan on following me around to Milan's nightclubs and hip fashion scene, because they might not let him in.