I don't care how many of those post-modern self-righteous TheTruth.com anti-smoking ads they put on TV, this Facebook group, Smoke Free Class of 2000, will never, ever be cool. Look, and I don't really like smokers, but the only thing more irritating than secondhand smoke in your face is a sanctimonious prick in your face reminding you how evil smoking is.

But you know what would make this Facebook group even more obnoxious? Anti-smoking pride poetry! With made up, politically correct words and a two-thirds correct rhyme scheme:

"We are the smoke free class of 2000,
two triple zero
everyone's a hero - or a she-ro
healthy lungs, healthy heart. we won't have to stop because we'll
never start
we are the smoke free class of 2000.
Two O O O ooooooh thats the way to go""We are the smoke free class of 2000,
two triple zero
everyone's a hero - or a she-ro
healthy lungs, healthy heart. we won't have to stop because we'll
never start
we are the smoke free class of 2000.
Two O O O ooooooh thats the way to go"

I'm sorry, but now I need to start smoking just to disassociate myself with these clowns. Anyone know what brand of cigarette is the coolest? Maybe something that goes well with a hacking cough and sputum?