I was checking out the website of Promises, the famous "Residential Treatment Center" in Malibu, and damn.... I really need to start doing, and then stop doing, and then relapse into blow. That Flash animation they've got there is nicer than my entire meth-free house. I'm sorry, but I thought that rehab was supposed to be some institutionalized Scared Straight nightmare where there's nothing to do but group therapy sessions discussing your personal weaknesses and trying to smooth out the lumps in your cot mattress. But Promises is gorgeous — I mean, there aren't a lot of pictures of strung-out heroin addicts on their website, but still, no wonder so many "business executives, professionals, celebrities, [and] government officials" do drugs. They totally left this out of all those D.A.R.E. classes I had to take in elementary school.