Saturday, November 25, 2006

Not to belittle anyone's faith, but...

..."Jedi" is not a real religion. On a list of retarded belief systems, Jedi falls somewhere between Scientology and those tracksuit-wearing weirdos who killed themselves so the aliens living behind the Hale-Bopp comet would be their friends. In the 2001 British census, about four-hundred thousand people put down "Jedi Knight" as their religion because they're either deluded enough to believe in the Force, or they enjoy fucking around with statistical data. Apparently being a Jedi Knight has its benefits over other, more established religions — like, whereas Muslims have to take time out of their day to pray, Jedi-ism has no such requirements and its practicioners have tons of free time, which some of them waste by fucking with the United Nations. Last week, "Umada" and "Yunyun," two self-proclaimed Jedi Knights whose parents probably pretend they don't know them petitioned the U.N. to rename its wildly successful International Day for Tolerance as the Interstellar Day for Tolerance because.... I don't know why. I guess this is what happens when your only friends are Wookiees.