Breaking News: Kim Jong Il Praised!

This is why the North Korean state press fascinates me: they have headlines like "Kim Jong Il Enjoys Art Performance," "Kim Jong Il's Party Leadership Praised," and of course, "U.S. Attempt to Perpetuate Its Military Presence in Iraq under Fire." It's basically all the propaganda of FOX News, plus the quality, sophistication, and spell checking of my town paper. My personal favorite headline just reads "Kim Jong Il Praised." (North Korea needs to dump their bootleg Microsoft Word and replace it with the real one, which green-squiggle underlines the passive voice.)

Pyongyang, June 16 (KCNA) -- Niculae Pavelescu, chairman of the Executive Committee of the Left United Party of Romania, made public a statement on June 11 on the occasion of the 43rd anniversary of Kim Jong Il's start of work at the Central Committee of the Workers' Party of Korea.

He said in his statement that the WPK has grown stronger to be the party of President Kim Il Sung from A to Z since Kim Jong Il started the work at the Party Central Committee.

Under the Songun revolutionary leadership of Kim Jong Il the WPK has become a revolutionary party invariably holding high the socialist banner and an invincible party firmly defending the sovereignty and dignity of the Korean people, he noted, adding that the undying feats Kim Jong Il has performed for the cause of the party building serve as an example to be followed by the world progressive parties and a precious wealth for them.

It probably makes more sense if you've been brainwashed by the Juche government. Well, at least they're not Scientologists.