I bought a new TV for myself yesterday, and it's awesome. It's a flat-screen high-definition LCD digital miracle of modern technology and I plugged it in, turned it on, and got no picture for about two hours. But once I got it up and running for real: wow, am I impressed! It gets around two-hundred channels I didn't even know existed. It gets three NBC's, and three of those TV Guide channels, and channels that aren't even listed in the TV Guide. There's way more channels than they know what to do with — we have about five channels that are two rows or pictures-in-picture, showing you what's on other channels. It takes half an hour just to cycle through all my channels.

Now if there was only anything good to watch...