Thursday, February 3, 2005

Can Dubya Say "Tool?"

I didn't watch the State of the Union address because our president's voice makes me queasy. So I woke up this morning to the highlight reel on CNN, and apparently there was a touching moment when the mother of some soldier who was slaughtered by Iraqi insurgents hugged an Iraqi woman who just got her first taste of what John Stuart Mill called "the tyranny of the majority." I guess there was only one soldier killed in Iraq, because I don't think there were a thousand grieving parents invited to the SotU. They played that clip like five times in the first half-hour of American Morning, with all of the anchors being objective and telling us how touching it was.

I'm glad this mom's at peace with her son's sacrifice, protecting America from those weapons of mass destruction... oh, wait, forget about that. Well, some woman halfway around the world who just happens to be sitting on a ton of oil can vote for an American-run puppet government, so that's important. And it's good that the two of them hugged, because it just didn't have the same emotional resonance when Dick Cheney hugged Iyad Allawi. The Republicans ought to use that moment in their campaign ads, don't you think?

Later on American Morning, liberally-biased anchor Soledad O'Brien interviewed an army soldier who lost his arm in Iraq and, I guess, just happened to be sitting in the House chamber when Dubya started his yakking. And surprise, surprise, the army guy liked Dubya's speech. What are the odds?

You see, here's what separates Democrats from Kansas: we understand that Dubya will say any silver-tongued lie to get the morons of this country on his side. Why is it that not one Democratic leader will just be blunt on network TV and say, about social security for example, "Dubya will take food out of your starving children's mouths if it'll make him and his zillionaire friends a few extra bucks." Kerry didn't say that, Edwards didn't say that, Barack Obama was too busy being hopeful to say that, Al Sharpton was too busy whining to say that, even Michael Moore didn't say that. And while I'm on the topic of social security, what's up with all those American idiots saying, "I can invest my money better than the government?" Oh, really. The government might be hampered by bureaucracy and red tape, but the government has bankers and economists working for it, while these hillbillies donate their hard-earned money to Pat Robertson and buy commemorative plates and wouldn't know the futures market from a school bus.