Thursday, October 13, 2005

So Much Middle Child Syndrome

I found this article on CNN.com about the epitome of arrogant bastard parents. The headline: Mom delivers 16th child, thinking of more. Apparently, Michelle and Jim Bob Duggan of Arkansas (where else?) are trying to populate the world with their own redneck race, which is, I don't know, a few steps back for mankind. How freaking narcissistic do you have to be when having sixteen miniatures of yourself running around your house still isn't life-fulfilling?

Meanwhile, the New York Times Style Section, also known as "Snobs on Parade" ran an article about parents who have this crazy compulsion to push their snotty little trust-fund kids around in this thing called a bugaboo, which is like if a stroller mated with an amphibious assault vehicle. Actually, this being New York, it's more likely that the parents paid for the bugaboo, but the Puerto Rican nanny is the one actually pushing it. The New York Times article saw the bugaboo as just another sticking point in the yuppie debate of starting a family vs. childless by choice, but that just glosses over the real problem with bugaboo parents: they're selfish and overwhelmed with a sense of entitlement, like they deserve a lucrative career, fabulous showpiece kids, and everybody else getting the hell out of their way. Hello, parents, here's something to teach your kids: the concept of bullshit.

Seriously, Michelle and Jim Bob, did you really need to have that sixteenth kid? You were already only devoting one-fifteenth of your time and energy to each of the progeny you've already spawned. Did you think that would spoil them? How about taking care of the kids you already have instead of contributing to our overpopulation problems.

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