Big, Fancy Red Carpet Party

I got an e-mail today from the "Hudson Union Society," which sounds like a bank, but is in fact a social club. Here's the subject line: "Birthday Party with Steve Guttenberg - Please Come! Free To All." That's right — I was invited to Steve Guttenberg's birthday party. The poor man's Q-rating must be lower than dirt, because I don't even get invited to my friends' birthdays, and none of them co-starred in Amazon Women on the Moon.

I assume. At least, none of them have come out and told me.

I'm a sucker for curious desperation, Hudson Union practically begging me to show up — Please Come! Free to All. Drinks Will Be Served! Like they already know I have better stuff to do than meet Steve Guttenberg. Call me when Judd Hirsch or Emilio Estevez or that robot from Short Circuit stops by. The way he can't comprehend human emotions is hilarious!